Hai dan Assalamualaikum,
Maybe you think that everybody wanna listen to your excuses, your tiredness, your unhealthiness, you think they wanna heard all of it? Wake up! They don't and they won't! Why its so hard for you to get it. That's the rule of reality that people used in their life whether they realize it or not. But you?! You have an eyes to see then see it well. Don't foolish yourself. Don't make them see the real you (dark side) because they can't stand it. They have their own that they been keep it secret for a long times ago, you just don't know because they know you doesn't want to hear it. See?? That is life. Wake up human being~ You can survive for almost 18 years with various of sicks. You never gonna understand every inch of it. Just survive. I don't know why He put me in this situation but what I know is this is exactly perfect for the only me. He knows that. Why can't you?
Me:
My family always know about who I am. Basically all about my sickness. But they know nothing about the pains. They see I'm smiling and they think I'm okey. But actually they can't accept if I show my sickness face. Because once I showed it to them, they will worried all the time about me. Lately I've been experienced a lot of painful. I don't why and what's wrong. Sometimes when I give up, I think that Allah gave this to me, this is a gift. A lot of gifts. And I know I should be grateful because I never get in to the labour room. My sister did. But she still kid on that time and she already forgot about it. What a gift. Perhaps I can forget about mine too. Like my sister did. But I'm good in memorizing. Especially about the pain, about what the doctor said to my father secretly but I can hear it. I still remember the doctor said there is something wrong about my heart. But my lovely man never told me and he think I don't understand it. What a drama. Sometimes when I told my friend I feel this pain on this day. And another different pain on the next day, they laughing, and said 'Jaja, can you tell me which day and how many hours that you think you're completely feel the healthiness as a human being in you?' Guess what, I don't know the answer and then I do laughing like a silly girl. Let me try this, I bet you will laughing. At 2.00pm I feel okey as a human, at 2.15pm I had my very painful stomach ache, at 2.35pm which I still in my stomachache mood, I had a perfect migraine, and I'm trying to get a nap, and usually when I had a migraine , I will having a nap without any pillow at my head, then I need to struggle to find the perfect situation to place my beautiful head in nice situation that actually can increase the pain on my head if I got a wrong situation to place it, sometimes it takes an hour to get the situation and I can't move my head even an inch of it whenever I found that place because it can caused a lot of painful. And after I woke up, then boom! My neck in pains! Okey its enough for this time. Then how can I tell my father about every inch of this fairy story? Tell me? I want to tell him, but sometimes it take times to make sure that I can walk in a stable condition and again it takes another hour. Then you guys can laughing now while thinking how this girl gonna tell her father. Same goes to everyday in my life.
Conclusion:
Can't tell anyone about what I feel, because they will be bored and sigh.
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